Ask Erin: Dealing with Mean Girls

Erin Aschow Fashion Blogger Red Off the Shoulder Sweater with Dog on Couch Erin Aschow Fashion Blogger Red Off the Shoulder Sweater Erin Aschow Fashion Blogger Red Off the Shoulder Sweater Drinking Tea on the Couch Erin Aschow Fashion Blogger Red Off the Shoulder Sweater

Sweater: Forever 21 / Jeans: Articles of Society / Mug: Similar Here

This is kind of a sensitive subject for a lot of people. It’s hard to admit that you’re being affected by a mean girl or girls. I’m here to tell you, I’m almost 30 (yikes) and have dealt with mean girls since kindergarten and encounter them to this day… as a grown ass woman.

I’ve been getting a lot of DMs and messages to write a post about dealing with mean girls, aka b*tches. I realize that’s not pc, but honestly… mean girls suck. Let’s face it, we’ve all encountered a mean girl (or boy) at one point or another. AND, unfortunately we’re probably also guilty of a little unfriendly behavior too.

Dealing with Real World Mean Girls

Tip #1 Relax

There’s nothing worse than feeling overwhelmed by a mean girl. The last thing you want to do is approach the situation from an irrational perspective. Don’t get worked up or let your anxiety take over. If you go in guns a blazin’ you’re not going to resolve the issue and will probably feel worse.

Calm, cool & collected is the best approach. Not only will it often times throw a mean girl off of her game, you’re more likely to see things from a rational perspective.

Tip # 2 You’re Not Alone

Literally everyone deals with mean girls. Even mean girls encounter mean girls. One thing that’s always helped me is reminding myself that you’re never the only one feeling the way you feel and it’s not your fault.

It’s easy to ask ourselves why people are being mean to us or being so cruel. I know I ask myself what I’m doing wrong all the time. BUT, you didn’t ask for it. No one ever invites bitchiness, exclusion or targeted gossip uno themselves.

Even though it’s REALLY hard, remember: it’s them, not you.

Tip #3 Don’t Engage the Mean Girl

So you’re probably thinking, maybe it’s time to pull a Cady Heron and give your Regina some foot creme for her face. Contrary to popular advice, I don’t recommend confronting a mean girl head on. Why? It rarely works. Mean girls are often systematic (and fueled by their own issues). It’s not an “oops I didn’t realize I was being a b*tch” situation. Confrontation just shows the mean girl that her methods are effective and you’re affected by her attempts.

Tip #4 Assemble a Team

As much as you want to sit in a corner and feel sad, there’s always strength in numbers. Get out and exercise, spend time with your friends and family, meet new people, join a new club, whatever! Surround yourself with family and friends. If you don’t feel like you’ve got the best support group, join the Revenge Posse! When I was struggling to find new friends, I joined a new gym and took some exercise classes! Staying in tune with friends and family helps us stay connected to reality and remind ourselves of what’s really important.

 

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